Blessed Am I

My pastor’s sermon last Sunday was on the beatitudes. But it wasn’t the traditional message of how to be meek or merciful or a peacemaker so that we can attain those coveted blessings of see God or inheriting the earth. In fact, the extremely familiar words, “blessed are”, that proceeds each of Jesus’ promises are often misunderstand. Blessed, here, does not mean you get to receive a blessing, like a favor or some good thing. Blessedness refers to closeness to God. We are blessed when God is close. And Jesus is describing the kinds of people that God is close to. Those meek, hungry, poor in spirit, that’s where God is, pouring out love and compassion.

The Pastor told a story of a fox in the church’s neighborhood who got injured and had taken shelter in the crawlspace underneath the church sanctuary. He said when he first heard the news, his thought was “what a tragedy”. Isn’t that usually our natural response to bad news? “How terrible”, “What a tragedy”, “Poor thing”. We’re quick to offer pity but not much else. But the person who called with the news asked a questions that we should all ask when we hear someone is suffering. Well, she asked if she should get dog food or cat food for the fox, but the root of her question was compassion. How can we help this suffering creature?

I’ve been going to the San Antonio Mennonite Church for about five years now, and in the past two years I’ve gone through a lot of difficult things and endured much pain. Sunday, as Pastor John was telling the story of the fox, I couldn’t help but see the similarities to my story. I have experienced great amount of compassion from this church. Some in very practical ways, like being provided a meal or financial relief. But also in very deep, soul impacting ways like being seen and heard and then comforted and encouraged. Like Pastor Dianne investing in me and teaching me how to hold these painful feelings and how to let go of the parts that are unhealthy or damaging. Like Pastor John being completely honest with me in a loving and non-judgmental way, and by not avoiding difficult or uncomfortable conversations with me. And so much overwhelming love and support given by so many others in the church. Sometimes people comment that they don’t know how I keep from falling apart, or ask how I find the strength to keep it together. The answer is, because they are all holding me together in their arms and lifting me up to God.

I am so grateful for this church family and community. This is where I am blessed, where God is close.